With six wives to choose from, surely Henry VIII had a favorite, no? The demure and tactful Jane Seymour usually gets credit for being the favorite, but that sounds too easy to me. Sure, compared to his previous wife (Anne Boleyn, that cheeky and marvellous icon of girl power), Jane knew when to keep her trap shut and didn’t stir the pot. And her uterus nurtured the elusive XY chromosome that Henry was obsessed with.

And then she dropped dead, and really could do no wrong after that, could she? It’s called “bowing out at the top of your game,” and an unwittingly wise move on her part, as history paints her as the Golden Wife. She didn’t live long enough to have miscarriages or dreaded baby girls, or to enter middle age, or to be grossed out by his oozing leg sore or mid-life obesity.

Let’s take a look at Henry’s other girls. Catherine of Aragon was a thorn in his side toward the end of their marriage, for sure, and only gave him one daughter. But she was a dutiful and loving wife for nearly 20 years, not to mention a popular Spanish princess and a devout Catholic (he was too, for the most part). Wife #2, the sassy (to put it mildly) Anne Boleyn was such an effective flirt that the king was convinced she was flitting around with others, although it’s never been proven. She certainly tapped into his saucy side and I think he definitely admired her moxie and intelligence.

After the dearly-departed Jane, Anne of Cleves (we’re at number 4, now) was a bit of a dull dishrag, but the poor girl couldn’t speak a lick of English and communication is so important, isn’t it? Plus, there was her not-quite-supermodel appearance and the fact that she was surely repulsed by this jiggling mass of conceit and rage. Just assuming. After their divorce, Henry viewed Anne of Cleves as a sister, gave her a lovely settlement, and invited her to court quite a bit. The favorite, no, but not the outcast, either.

In sashays Wife #5, Katherine Howard. Katherine seemed to be low on brain cells but high on the vixen-factor. Henry appreciated the coquette angle, sure, but I really feel he wanted more than just glossy paintwork. And her cheating on him didn’t help matters any. Finally we have Wife #6, Catherine Parr, who was really just the king’s companion and caregiver during his last years.

Out of that cast of characters, do you think Henry VIII really had a favorite? Who do you think he held most near and dear? Or do you feel that his greatest love was actually the one he saw in the looking glass, the whole time?