Happy (?) Anniversary to Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn! On this day in 1533, Anne became the blushing bride of the fickle monarch in a secret ceremony in his private chapel at Whitehall Palace. Only a handful of people were present but they had to promise to stay mum about the newlyweds.

Speaking of “mum,” Anne was already a few months pregnant with the future Elizabeth I at the time. What some historians (including David Starkey, and I’m not about to argue with him) have suggested may have been true: Anne and Henry were first secretly married the previous November. She’d gotten pregnant almost immediately.

Either way, their union wasn’t considered valid until Henry’s marriage to poor Catherine of Aragon was officially labeled “kaput” in May. Anne, not known for her discretion, let it be known way earlier that she was craving apples like no one’s business. And Henry got himself so drunk at a banquet that he was laughing and slurring all about his new wife. Klassy.

It turned out badly, but no one can deny that the few years these two kids were together created a soap opera worthy of TMZ or Hello Magazine. A delicious secret, for sure.